Cancer Survivor Photography: A Journey of Strength and Resilience
Samantha came to me for the first time in 2023. She booked her appointment just like any other client has, but the reality of what her appointment was to become wasn’t what she expected.
A month or two after booking, she called me to share an update on how things might be changing dramatically for her in the future.
“I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer…”
My heart sank.
We discussed her options: Keep the session as is, though it would be right in the middle of her treatment, move the session up to a more recent date to capture her before she started treatment, or hold off on her session until after recovery.
After some consideration, Samantha boldly told me she wanted to keep her original date, putting her right at the start of her first treatments. Whatever lie ahead of her, she wanted to capture it exactly as it was.
She arrived with her PICC line in, sore and uncomfortable. We celebrated life that day – movement, power, beauty, strength. We found beauty in a less than ideal situation and I will always be grateful to Samantha for allowing me to capture her in such a vulnerable time in her life.
Now, more than a year has passed and her treatments have concluded. She is cancer free!
This time, I approached her with a proposal to capture her a second time. Now that some time had passed, I felt it would be important for us to capture the highs and lows of her journey. It was certainly a transformative experience, for better or worse, and one we felt was worth documenting.
This time was different. In ways I expected and in ways that I didn’t. She shared her emotional struggles with me, things I can only imagine. What life post treatment is like, the long term medications and their side effects. Things no one gets to see on a surface level. When everyone is celebrating your recovery but you find it hard to regain a vitality for life after such a physical and emotional beat-down.
I imagine there’s many breast cancer survivors (or anyone who survives such an intense health battle) that might feel the same but feel too afraid to share. You’re supposed to be the happiest you’ve ever been! You’re supposed to feel reinvigorated with a renewed appreciation for life! And yet, you find yourself feeling aimless, lost and maybe even a little broken.
While you surely feel all of those great things on the other side of such turmoil, you also feel afraid to share and maybe even face the reality of the aftermath – emotionally and physically.
“When Christie initially offered the photoshoot to me, I was hesitant to accept. Not because she wasn’t a talented photographer because she absolutely is, and not because my first photoshoot with her wasn’t great because it was one of the most moving experiences I had in my lifetime. The truth is that I was struggling being back in “normalcy” after the end of cancer treatment and was disappointed that I didn’t stay as the enlightened self that I thought I had become. All the insecurities and voids that I had rid myself of from a highly curated life during treatment, came rushing back when I was reintegrated into the world. It didn’t feel like there was anything worth celebrating.”
As we chatted through hair and makeup, I was humbled and listened to her stories and struggles. How much her body had changed, even in ways you can’t see on the outside. How her life has changed, but somehow stayed the same. Her expectations and goals for her future. My goal, as it always is, was to reintroduce her to a part of herself she may have lost sight of along the way.
“Saying “yes” to Christie’s offer had turned my perspective around, like magic. Christie’s eye for strength, vulnerability, beauty through her lens once again moved me. Her work is the most beautiful reminder that my body is resilient, that my mind is a work in progress, that like Darwin once said “there is grandeur in this view” if you choose to see it. I cannot be more thankful for Christie helping me see the grandeur, both when I was diagnosed as well as when I completed my treatment. Christie, your witness is my gift.”
I will always be grateful to the women who put their trust in me. I say it over and over and I mean it every single time. I couldn’t do what I do without the trust of the women that I capture. Our life narratives, our stories we have built inside our heads are fragile, like a house of cards. They have been built over a lifetime of criticism, both self criticism and that of others. We try to form new narratives, gain new perspectives, but often find ourselves returning to comfortable thoughts no matter how damaging they may be.
A strong wind blows and we tumble to the ground, left to pick of the fragments of stories we haven’t yet held up to scrutiny. Can it be true? Can these thoughts we have about ourselves be challenged? Can we break them down and rebuild with new perspectives and a renewed sense of self?
It might just be photography, but it has never just been about that for me. My love of people drives me to capture more than just imagery, it’s a story to be told and you’re the main character. For a long time you’ve let someone else write it for you, but I am here to show you a version of yourself you might have missed along the way.
